Children have IMPECCABLE timing

So, I keep wanting to write something, but I tend to wait for a *spark* it doesn't always happen but when it does, it usually strikes me in a situation where I say to myself "now THIS is what I should blog about" in fact tonight, one could say it projected itself right into my lap...

I should start from the beginning, so I started my new job at Saks Fifth Avenue last week. Needless to say I have learned that while I do consider myself to have a girly-side I am absolutely NOT high maintenance. In fact, in the ten days I have been there I have spent more time *trying* to put myself together and look presentable and as if I belong there, than actually working. Okay, with that-I'll get straight to example a. in making my point. So my VERY FIRST day on the actual selling floor, my dear baby Charli, peed on my shift-dress during my lunch break. Just by happenstance, I had a $7.50 black polyester dress I got on clearance from Target that was literally thrown in my handbag in the back of the car. Not even kidding, I hadn't even tried it on (lesson learned in that regard!) So I scrubbed my skin-in efforts to get rid of the stench, put on the slightly oversized, completely wrinkled monstrosity and went back to work m.o.r.t.i.f.i.e.d. On to my second point, tonight, as the craze of our everynight dinner and bed routine was beginning to wind down. I carried my dear, precious child to her bed, hugged her and as I lifted her off my should she projectile vomited...everywhere. Her, me, the floor, the bed...everywhere. Le sigh. Word to the wise, bits of dino-nuggets and cottage cheese do not clean or vacuum up easy or at all well. (jic you were wondering)Leading me to my third and final example, while at dinner with family a few months ago my toddler decides (of course in the one moment that no one else is speaking) she expresses her feelings about her taco breaking with a very loud "dammit" :::Facepalm::: All eyes are on me and I ask myself, really? now? how are they soooo good at such bad timing???

I have daughters, I don't have boys. (Sorry, for the stereotype, but come on if you have kids, you've been with men and well...)But seriously, how do they know? Grocery stores, weddings, church, family dinners. HOW DO THEY KNOW? And why didn't any of those parenting books ever tell me that children have impeccable timing?