I've heard every age comes with it's struggles, terrible twos, treacherous threes, fiesty fours...I get it. My issue is that there's no book or how-to, that's a reliable source, to assist moms to keep their sanity through any or all of the above growing pains.
Truth be told, every age does come with it's struggles, for instance 27 for me...waaaaay harder than 26 and my husband can attest to this, lol. Most people struggle with the big 3-0, honestly, I am kind of looking forward to it. I hope to be a little bit better of a human being by that age-but that maay be 4-0. But for now, I am still working on 27 and maybe that's why the ages 3 and 13 months seem so challenging. Maybe it's not about the child's development, maybe it's more about mine, not as an individual, but as a parent...(hmmmm that's kind of deep, I didnt mean to go there...but okay,let's see where this goes...)
Still, regardless of the age, what is with the power struggle? The battle of the bottle with the baby or the toddler tug of war with words. Why do I get crazy after being asked the same question ten times, the child is simply interested? How do I explain what is "in a pea"? And really, is that even a valid question? How do you make a three year old understand that a pea IS what is IN a pea...why was I not taught this? Why isn't a chicken nugget a vegetable? What makes meat a protein vs whatever is IN the pea (mom-thought interruption: and if this is the case WTF is soybean??) HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW??????????? Meanwhile the baby is practically breaking the {empty} cookie jar and banging on the floor with pots and pans as I pay zero mind or attention to the noise (yeaaahh, right!)
This scenario is a nightly routine. I have read and re-read various blogs, research articles, parenting "how-to-not tos" and they all say something different but none actually help me. I read one the other day that suggested that if my daughter doesn't want to get dressed and the natural consequence is no playground then she'll learn she doesn't get to go and to let her not get dressed, stay home, save yourself the argument. Okay, fine but what if it's not the playground??? What if it's the grocery store or the drs??? Who in their right mind allows a 3 year old to make the decisions that run a household and daily schedule??? WTHell. Do not misunderstand, I am all for options and anyone who knows my children can attest to their individuality and the amount to which they are encouraged to be independent HOWEVER there is a line and a bit of grey area in there that even the most black and white viewed individual (myself included) must comply with; if not we will only raise entitled, self-righteous, lazy brats [if you are gasping and you are a. a parent-let's call a spade a spade and b. if you are not a parent-when you do become one you will think this too and can remember this blog and feel zero guilt] and after working in higher education and with youth for a good portion of my early career, I can say it is MUCH more difficult on the developing parent/role model to deal with a child who is 2-0 that 0-2 even including the most memorable of shopping market meltdowns.
Okay, rant over. So the bottom line is, how do I deal? What do I do? I pray every night for patience and I beleive wholeheartedly that I am doing the best that I can and I also believe that in the end my girls will be okay and be beautiful strong women, but am I doing it right? Am I irreversibly screwed up? Are they? Will they be? I worry about these things every single day. And then the answer just appears before me...it's "the man's fault" the same man who gave description to what's in a pea and who made meat a protein; who started the alphabet with A and not Q; the same MAN who doesn't have to field these questions bc they are of course, "mom" questions and yet again, the same MAN who tells me it's not okay to tell my children that "because mom said so" is not an acceptable answer to children. Well guess what, MAN...you're wrong and well, not to be mean but...you suck. Why??? Simple, because.i.said.so.
Sep 6, 2012
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