Jan 26, 2012

I remember the absolute thrill of attending my first concert- The Beach Boys- at the Champlain Valley Fair circa summer 19...um... coughletsjustsayitwasalongtimeago'causeI'moldcough. It POURED down rain, and our seats (2nd row, baby!) were not under cover. But faithfully we stood, my dad and I, so that I could see John 'Uncle Jesse' Stamos guest star on the drums. I've been particularly reminiscent of this in the past few days because we were able to get tickets to take Viv to see her very first concert (unless you count seeing James Taylor in-utero). We're taking her to see the Fresh Beat Band! She doesn't quite understand how, exactly we'll be seeing some of her favorite TV Characters in person, but she's excited none the less, and we are thrilled to be taking her. Of all the characters in today's line-up of children's programming, I have to say that the characters from the FBB are some of the less annoying of the bunch. Even IF 'new' Mirena is fooling no one, and Twist is freakishly tall to the point of distraction ;-)

Which brings me to the real point of this post... with quite the long and slightly roundabout intro... children's TV characters! Unless you don't own a television, you have to have been subjected to them at some point, even if just in passing. If you're a parent or caregiver, you likely find yourself singing various theme songs at any given time of the day or night like my husband and I find ourselves doing. There is a lot of children's programming out there that is witty, educational and that you don't mind your child insisting upon watching 127896239472 times.

And then there are others.

Here is my list of the top most annoying children's characters:


Caillou:
Um... what-the-dealie with the little bald Canuck?
Look, I like Canada, really. I mean, I practically LIVE in Canada, but c'mon! I know I am not alone in thinking it was kind of unfair of them to unleash such unapologetic whining upon the rest of the unsuspecting world. It's a conspiracy I tell you! It's revenge for Americans pointing out that 'Canadian Bacon' is really just ham!

Dora:
I'm not sure I could begin to touch upon all the things that are off about this show, the least of which is a backpack that needs it's own episode of 'My Strange Addiction.' Oh, and BTW, are you the map? I wasn't sure the first 5 times you said it.
As for Dora herself, holy yelling everything you say, Batman! Not just yelling everything, yelling everything *three times!* I understand the purpose, and I'm glad she's good at following directions, but sheesh!. Maybe if we all promise to religiously clean the wax out of our ears she'll take.it.down.a.notch.
Do you think Dora is annoying as ****? ...........Buena!
Barney:
Barney [Bahr-nee] Noun, Plural-neys, Definition(s):
1. Big
2. Purple
3. Douchey
Sweet sassy molassy, he certainly serves as a fantastic reminder of why dinosaurs are best left extinct!
Plus, I think he's a drunk.



Yo Gabba Gabba:
I guess this show doesn't actually classify as annoying (at least for me, in the grander scheme of things). I love the guest stars and bands! However, it undeniably classifies as 'WTF?!'
One word: Muno.
That really should take no explanation, lol. Even if you've never heard of the show but were witness to the Superbowl commercial for Kia. You were likely one of millions who were left wondering why they had a giant studded dildo with a face parading around as a children's toy. 'Nuff said, eh?
Um... DJ Lance's.. lets discuss this unitard situation. Unitards in general, really, I discriminate against all unitards alike. I feel like homeboy could be just as effective in a nice pair of pressed khakis and a polo.
Ruby
:
An open letter to Ruby,
You are not the boss of Max. Just sayin', bossy britches!
PS you are never going to get your 'Good Listener' Bunny Scout Badge. Ever.


Cat in the Ha
t:
I know, I know, what issue could I possibly have with such a wonderful, classic character? Don't get me wrong, we love Dr. Seuss! Viv even had a Seuss-themed party last year! It's not the original story, or even original movie (the 1960's cartoon that is) I find to be obnoxious, but more of the PBS science field trip version.
First of all, could he BE more of a creeper? In each show he tempts Nick and Sally with some sort of cool field trip and then tells them in.every.episode. "your mother won't mind at ALL if you do!" Um, hey A-hole! On behalf of mothers everywhere, we DO mind! Stranger danger anyone?

If you're looking for some less nerve-grating options, here are a few that are Vivi, Mommy and Daddy approved:

The Bearenstain Bears (they have always been a classic)
Olivia (That is one sassy little pig!)
The Fresh Beat Band
Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends
Magic School Bus (really, this show rocks)
The Backyardigans
Angelina Ballerina
Thomas and Friends
The Wonder Pets (although I know most of the world will disagree with this)

So, what children's shows do you love/hate?

Image Credits
nickjr.com, pbskids.kids.us, disneyclips.com

2 comments:

1 Bad Mom said...

I can't STAND Caillou! He's so whiny. Ugh. lol

Caitlin Stark said...

I can't stand Wonderpets. I only had to hear it for a minute before realizing that saying "choose what you want to watch from this page" while babysitting was a BAD idea.