Oh Mother Nature...

Oh Mother Nature... you win again you shady lady you! 

I should have prefaced my previous post by saying that the arrival of springtime in Vermont generally means that the minute everyone whips out the flip flops (which is at about 35 degrees) and pastel prints, we are hit with at least one more  snow storm. It's a cruel joke that nature likes to play on us every year. We fall for it every time, always hoping that this year will be the year the snow will melt for good in March. And I must say that this year we feel particularly hard after the 80 degree temps in both March and April!

Ahhh well, We shall go back to pinning barbeque ideas on Pinterest and continue our garden planning inside ;-)

Here Comes The Sun...

...doo doo doo doo. Here comes the sun, and I say, it's all riiiight! Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces. Little darling, it seems like years since it's been heeeeeere!Here comes the suuuun! Here comes the suuuuunnnn, and I say, it's all riiight!

Hello World! Long time, no type... I will spare you the boring details of how busy we've been being...well, human.

Spring at the homestead

Any old who... my dramatic and song-filled intro is in honor of the fact that the sunshine and warm-ish weather has arrived in this beautiful Green Mountain State of ours, and I am over the moon! To say that my family has ants in the pants due to the onset of slightly greenish grass and spreading of manure (oh wait, that one we could live without) is an understatement of gross proportions. In fact, my daughter has been so anxious for spring that she made a "birds nest" out of glow sticks and plastic Easter eggs, which she placed in front of the sliding glass door so that the sun would shine on it. She invited me to sit on it to help the eggs hatch, but I politely declined.

Getting back to why I'm actually writing... the sun has arrived! Time to make some warm-weather plans! One thing you should know about both Kiki and I is that we love to plan. We love lists, calendars, spread sheets, agendas, checklists, timelines, carefully color-coded day planners (okay that one is just me), you name it, we've likely labeled it and filed it alphabetically somewhere ;-) We're not uptight or anything, we just find that half the fun is in the planning stages, so this will likely be the first of many, many lists to come

For lack of a better term, we'll call this my spring/summer bucket list. Or since it's spring would it be a bouquet list? Ha! I slay me... I really do... ;-)

1. Make a small garden: I can't claim to have a green thumb, but have always wanted a garden of my own and decided this is the year! The closest experience I've had to having my own garden is having taken part in making one at work with some of the kiddos over the summer. It was a great experience, which I can't wait to replicate with my family. I haven't yet mentioned to the hubs that I would most graciously appreciate it if he would rototill a small area of our lawn, but I suspect it will likely go a little something like the scene in 'The Secret Garden' where Mary asks if she "miight have a bit of eeeaarth."

2. Beee-Beee-Quuee!: That was my awesome Bill Cosby impression, couldn't you tell? One of my fave things to do in the summer is barbecue! The food, the iced tea, the proceeding bonfire- and of course, the company. Is there a better way to relax and spend time with friends on a summer evening? The look forward to many, many laughter (and kabob) filled gatherings this season! I cannot explain the joy I find in having my child run around playing with the children of my dear friends. Viv and Kiki's eldest (2 months apart) have declared each other 'besties' and I would like to find every opportunity possible to get them together this summer.
Um, and can I just lament for a minute,\ that I searched for a Cosby Show B-B-Q photo and could not find a.single.one? What's a broad gotta do to find a pic of 'Combustible Huxtable' in his chef hat and apron? Yeah, I know #thirdworldproblems.

3. Prep for a 5K: This one is daunting. And by "daunting" I mean I'm "scared shitless." The department I work for is hosting a 5K fundraiser in the early fall, and I need to spend the summer learning to run farther than the mailbox without getting winded. Hey, I love to work out, but running is a whole different ballgame! I feel like you can work out with a personal trainer 6 days a week, but still not be able to run a mile! Please, send beginner running tips my way! I'm determined not to look like a total a$$hole the day of the race! Um.... and if you're in VT/NH and interested in running a 5K for an amazing cause, contact me!

4. Go to Storyland: So, I recognize that to many folks, having to spend the day somewhere that is full of wildly excited, sometimes over-tired, sugar-filled kids is their version of hell, but I'm pumped! a. fried dough abd b. how great is the smile on your kid's face when you've planned something super fun? Or as Dallas Royce ('Suburgatory') would say: "Ruhl fun! Ruhl fun, super fun, ruhl fun stuff!."

5. I like big BOOKS and I cannot lie: It's no secret in our household that we're all a little book-obsessed. I love finding series of books that leaves me feeling as though I have made a new, true friend. I want to spend copious, copious amounts of time reading this summer... in a hammock...with an iced tea. 

Needed:

Copious amounts of time

Hammock

My husband is a cabana boy uniform serving me iced tea

That's doable, right? ;-)

6. I just got a new camera so now the hubbster and I each have a nice one. Admittedly, Mike is an excellent photographer- much, much better than me, but I think it would be fun to work on our photography together. Eventually I would like to be able to take a really nice family photo. Here's a shot I took of our daughter this week:

So, what's on your spring/summer bucket list?

the potty dash!

Potty training..the mere idea of it ignites the senses of all sorts. It's a fear and yet an excitement all it's own. Like pregnancy and labor, potty training is an experience individual to that parent and that child, no two are alike. With that, like pregnancy and labor everyone has an opinion, and because we are women and feel the need to HAVE to share it, everyone always hears/shares it. There is advice about it everywhere you turn along with hundreds of books that help both the child and the parent survi..ah, excuse me, learn the best method for the pair.


Personally I found potty training to be a bit of a pain in the ass! Trying to remember to watch the clock or set the timer so that I can have the "let's just try and sit on the potty" battle every 1.5 hrs is like dragging your own nails on the chalkboard, an unnecessary self-inflicted headache. It's slightly less than my usual fun and quite honestly on the verge of obnoxious-to put it lightly. Admittedly, I would have weeks where I would be great with her and then that after one really long day at work and being quite preggo (never the two combined, lol) I would find myself not even putting in the effort for the fight, "just get me a diaper I don't have the energy." As I write this I realize how this sounds, but come on, tell me (in your mind) if you've been through it, that you haven't had these thoughts at least once or twice. Bottom line here, I realize I wasn't helping the situation but I'm hard pressed to say I was hurting it. We tried every type of bribe, at least all of them, and you can only exhaust the "but you're a big girl" phrases in such a variety of ways, honestly there are only so many you can come up with. For a while she was doing great and we got really close and then...it happened. I.had.another.baby. It is undoubtedly, mom's fault (never realized that started so early on in parenting btw, but I digress) Everyone warns you of the potty-training regression but most people, myself included, think nah, that's their story, not mine. She'll be different...WRONG! #epicfail

My daughter went through 5 straight months of complete regression; she wanted to be a baby just like her sister (well, of course, she was "getting all of the attention" :::Eyeroll:::) The pediatrician even said, don't even bring it up, she'll do it on her own (we weren't exactly buying his sell) but he was right! One day she just decided to do it and has been going strong since and we don't have to worry about the timer or the questions; of course we check in with her and car rides are always a little nerve wracking but she's doing really well. Thankfully, I've lived to tell the tale that even the biggest non-believer was proven wrong and it's totally true, your kid will not go to college in a diaper (although, with a beautiful little girl, I was starting to get okay with the idea..it'll keep boys away.lol)

but! here's where the dash comes in, while my daughter is doing awesome at potty training I was (again) ill-prepared for the drama of the potty in public. Public restrooms have become a circus side-show. We have to visit EVERY ONE in each and every place we go. As a supportive parent you know you never second guess a potty-train(ed/ing) child when they say they need to go but this past weekend I spent close to 30 minutes in the potty at the local craft store. My daughter went in did her business and they realized there were 2 stalls not just 1, mistake! she had to visit both of them. She also recently discovered (after going into the stall by herself) the little trash bins, ladies, you know what I am talking about! These have to be the most unsanitary things in the whole bathroom (yes, toilet included). So, finally after having a ridiculous conversation to coerce her out of the potty and back to business in the store we get to the other side of the store only for her to loudly say "mommy, poop's coming out..." i.e. the potty dash!

If you haven't been there yet, you will, and when you do good luck, it's worth it, it's always worth it but nothing can prepare you for YOUR "potty dash."

I remember the absolute thrill of attending my first concert- The Beach Boys- at the Champlain Valley Fair circa summer 19...um... coughletsjustsayitwasalongtimeago'causeI'moldcough. It POURED down rain, and our seats (2nd row, baby!) were not under cover. But faithfully we stood, my dad and I, so that I could see John 'Uncle Jesse' Stamos guest star on the drums. I've been particularly reminiscent of this in the past few days because we were able to get tickets to take Viv to see her very first concert (unless you count seeing James Taylor in-utero). We're taking her to see the Fresh Beat Band! She doesn't quite understand how, exactly we'll be seeing some of her favorite TV Characters in person, but she's excited none the less, and we are thrilled to be taking her. Of all the characters in today's line-up of children's programming, I have to say that the characters from the FBB are some of the less annoying of the bunch. Even IF 'new' Mirena is fooling no one, and Twist is freakishly tall to the point of distraction ;-)

Which brings me to the real point of this post... with quite the long and slightly roundabout intro... children's TV characters! Unless you don't own a television, you have to have been subjected to them at some point, even if just in passing. If you're a parent or caregiver, you likely find yourself singing various theme songs at any given time of the day or night like my husband and I find ourselves doing. There is a lot of children's programming out there that is witty, educational and that you don't mind your child insisting upon watching 127896239472 times.

And then there are others.

Here is my list of the top most annoying children's characters:

Caillou:
Um... what-the-dealie with the little bald Canuck?
Look, I like Canada, really. I mean, I practically LIVE in Canada, but c'mon! I know I am not alone in thinking it was kind of unfair of them to unleash such unapologetic whining upon the rest of the unsuspecting world. It's a conspiracy I tell you! It's revenge for Americans pointing out that 'Canadian Bacon' is really just ham!

Dora:
I'm not sure I could begin to touch upon all the things that are off about this show, the least of which is a backpack that needs it's own episode of 'My Strange Addiction.' Oh, and BTW, are you the map? I wasn't sure the first 5 times you said it.
As for Dora herself, holy yelling everything you say, Batman! Not just yelling everything, yelling everything *three times!* I understand the purpose, and I'm glad she's good at following directions, but sheesh!. Maybe if we all promise to religiously clean the wax out of our ears she'll take.it.down.a.notch.
Do you think Dora is annoying as ****? ...........Buena!
Barney:
Barney [Bahr-nee] Noun, Plural-neys, Definition(s):

1. Big
2. Purple

3. Douchey
Sweet sassy molassy, he certainly serves as a fantastic reminder of why dinosaurs are best left extinct!
Plus, I think he's a drunk.



Yo Gabba Gabba:
I guess this show doesn't actually classify as annoying (at least for me, in the grander scheme of things). I love the guest stars and bands! However, it undeniably classifies as 'WTF?!'
One word: Muno.
That really should take no explanation, lol. Even if you've never heard of the show but were witness to the Superbowl commercial for Kia. You were likely one of millions who were left wondering why they had a giant studded dildo with a face parading around as a children's toy. 'Nuff said, eh?
Um... DJ Lance's.. lets discuss this unitard situation. Unitards in general, really, I discriminate against all unitards alike. I feel like homeboy could be just as effective in a nice pair of pressed khakis and a polo.
Ruby:
An open letter to Ruby,
You are not the boss of Max. Just sayin', bossy britches!
PS you are never going to get your 'Good Listener' Bunny Scout Badge. Ever.


Cat in the Hat:
I know, I know, what issue could I possibly have with such a wonderful, classic character? Don't get me wrong, we love Dr. Seuss! Viv even had a Seuss-themed party last year! It's not the original story, or even original movie (the 1960's cartoon that is) I find to be obnoxious, but more of the PBS science field trip version.
First of all, could he BE more of a creeper? In each show he tempts Nick and Sally with some sort of cool field trip and then tells them in.every.episode. "your mother won't mind at ALL if you do!" Um, hey A-hole! On behalf of mothers everywhere, we DO mind! Stranger danger anyone?

If you're looking for some less nerve-grating options, here are a few that are Vivi, Mommy and Daddy approved:

The Bearenstain Bears (they have always been a classic)
Olivia (That is one sassy little pig!)
The Fresh Beat Band
Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends
Magic School Bus (really, this show rocks)
The Backyardigans
Angelina Ballerina
Thomas and Friends
The Wonder Pets (although I know most of the world will disagree with this)

So, what children's shows do you love/hate?

Image Credits
nickjr.com, pbskids.kids.us, disneyclips.com

It's my sanctuary and I'm claiming it!

Pre-wedded bliss:
My bedroom is my sanctuary. As I arrive home on any given night my bed is neatly made and is screaming my name. I can get into comfy pjs, a new pair of socks and be completely enveloped in this cozi-haven. I snuggle into the middle...it is my sweet slumber

Wedded Bliss/Pre-babies:
Our bedroom is our sexy sanctuary. Two nightstands, two sides (albeit I don't get the middle anymore but love means compromise, right?) a love nest where we can come together at the end of our long work days and eat ice cream, watch a movie, or practice making babies.

Then practice became perfection (which as most know doesn't take as long in the sport of baby making) and the real babies arrived:
My sanctuary has now become the family bed. While our children do not sleep with us somehow, someway our room has become a catch all for every.person. in our family. Laundry, mail, spit up, diapers (yes, even the dirty ones) and all things child related have wound up in my once known as-sanctuary.

Present day-January 2012, 3.5 yrs of marriage, 1-2yr old and a 6 month old later:
When did this happen? How did this happen? (answer: all of the above) but seriously why can't the children have their space and I get my own? I mean they get the whole damn house. I, at one point, thought that I could have a house and have kids without people walking in and knowing kids live here (in hindsight I don't know if I even like this perspective...ponder this...back to reality). As a mom, I have voluntarily given up all the obvious things that non-moms know about i.e. sleep, body, modesty, eating privately in restaurants without people scowling at me with judgment; but then there is the list of things I didn't know about i.e. the ability to drink a glass of water without fingers in it, the privacy of going to the bathroom or taking a shower by myself, losing my hair *literally* due to hormones, and then my favorite my personal freedom of choosing my own scented fragramce and accessories (because for those of you who aren't aware, for the first 2 years you smell and look like baby vomit and breastmilk/formula, and if you are lucky) And you know truth be told I wouldn't trade any of it and on most days I don't complain about it. I can proudly where a vomit-scarf to work *uknowingly* (but really because I didnt realize it until I was walking into my office) But seriously, my bedroom?? Why that? I'm not fancy. I don't need spas or expensive lounges to relax I just want my nicely decorated and clean room with the comforter I purchased and the matching his/her sidetables to curl up into so that after I have fought hours of bedtime wars and cleaned a messy house and pumped my breasts for the 8th time, and worked all day... I can crawl into a made bed without having to clear it of your crap. And *your* refers to you darling baby # 1, adorable baby # 2 and you my loving husbandperson. All of you ARE guilty!

I don't want your mail, I don't want your stickers, take your empty bottles, and your dirty socks. Throw pillows are not dinosaurs and those fake flowers belong in my perfectly placed vase and NOT IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL! I'm drawing a line in the sand. This mom is re-claiming her right to her room! Get on board and get the picture or get LOCKED OUT! and yes, this applies to said husbandperson as well. If you would like to join the ranks of the grown ups then please remove your crap from where we lie, if not I have the address of a comfy couch I can refer you too! **Smooches**

If you're anything like me, then you understand the never-ending battle between knowing that you need and want to do certain things for yourself, and the knowledge that doing anything for *you* will likely take away from your already precious little time with your kiddos.

Looking back on life before my sweet Vivi came into the world, I would leave work and meet my friends at the gym to workout or walk everyday. I love the natural high that a good workout brings, and found that when constantly active I was physically, mentally and spiritually at my healthiest.

I need that.

Yes, need.

But when my daughter was born, I didn't want to compromise any of my time with her; The hours between the end of work and bedtime are so few and fleeting! So for me, when faced with the decision to do something for me or to spend time with my daughter my mind races with the anxiety that she's only this age this one time! And the conflicting but you need to be healthy for her!

Don't misunderstand me, I think 'me' time is important for everyone and am not saying anyone should feel guilty for taking it. What I am saying is that it's not always that easy, and that isn't often acknowledged. After all, moms today are supposed to be able to do it all, right? < --- (lolz!)

Earlier last year I decided that something needed to change. I needed my old healthy lifestyle back, without taking away from time with my daughter.

The problem was, we live in the Arctic Tundra. Okay, okay, so not that far North, but believe me, Vermont sometimes feels like it! The ground is covered in ice and snow for like, 9 months out of the year, so the reality of running, biking, walking or really anything outside is just not feasible the majority of the time. We do have a gym, but holy heck is it expensive for a family pass; and any parent/child classes are always scheduled during the 9-5 workday (don't get be started on this, I'll save that for a whole other blog post).

So I decided to improvise! I dug out my balance ball and started from there. I researched home workouts and Pilates and turned my living room into LO's Gym every evening. Viv thought this was a riot! I quickly found that she was mimicking my motions and trying to exercise right along with me. As you can see from the pic I was able to snap of her (please do excuse the quality, it was dark and she was moving) showing daddy how "mommy does exercise," she thinks it's hiii-larious. She loves exercising right along side me (and daddy when he joins us!) Gradually I've started adding to my "gym" with small weights, resistance bands, and the pièce de résistance- an elliptical bike!

What has proven to be an epic win on the mommy-front is setting everything up in another room along with her easel and paints [Bonus: a yoga mat makes for a great washable drop-cloth!] I've made a circuit training cycle of 1. Bike a mile 2. Ab reps 3. Change easel paper 4. Leg reps, repeat! Who needs a fancy expensive gym? Besides, Viv doesn't mind my singing along loudly to 'Moves Like Jagger.' Well... at least not too much ;-)
(Again, please do excuse the quality, it was dark and I was biking)

So whether you're a parent or just plain busy but want to stay active, here are a few ideas for non-gym workouts:

• Put on some tunes and have a mommy-kiddo dance party! Come on, you know you've been secretly saving that cheesy playlist for something! Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about... you know, the one with O-Town and Debbie Gibson on it. Vivi loves this! She gets to dance and get her wiggles out, and I get to spend time with her (albeit making a fool out of myself) and get a good workout!
• Old-School Play: If you have enough space indoors, jump rope and hula-hoop it up! Who doesn't love to hula hoop? They even make specialty hoops designed for exercise!
  
• During the warm months (as few as there may be) there are the obvious hiking, biking, swimming, running, etc etc. Also, try going to the playground! Only don't sit on the bench and watch, run around, climb, slide and swing with your kiddo.
  
• If you have OnDemand (or just the internet), there are a lot of family-geared workouts that are short enough to hold your kiddo's attention, but long enough to actually be a good enough workout for you. My daughter enjoyed the 'Family Walk' segment the best, as she got to pretend to be in a marching band the whole time.
• Make it a game: I don't have the FitDeck Junior, but after learning about it, I must have it! It's essentially a deck of cards with illustrations describing upper, middle, lower, and full body exercises. Each exercise has a kid-friendly name like funny names like the Inchworm and Flamingo. I think I would like to create my own version that also incorporates dance moves that we love.
  

So there we have it! And they've really worked! I feel great and Viv is having fun- what more could I ask for?

I would love to know what other people do to involve kids in your workout!

Are we bad parents?

So fittingly, last night after *literally* hours of bedtime wars with both my toddler and my almost 6-month old, we were finally lying down in quiet and my husband asks "are we bad parents?" :::silence::: The negative connotation of this kind of flips me, he didn't ask are we good parents, no the opposite, now I have to really think about this. My response to him at the moment was, "I don't know. I hope not, but I guess it's too early to tell." In my head I thought a zillion awful thoughts and scenarios such as "oh, geez this could scar someone for life. Me? Them? I don't want to be a *bad* parent what if I suck at this? What if I am permanently and utterly screwed up? What if my girls..? How do I? What can I? What if...uh, wait a second, now here's a conversation to kick start that blog of ours!"

Consider it my intro. I have two beautiful daughters almost three and almost 6 six months and a loving husband but our life is chaos, complete and absolute chaos. We have our ups and downs, struggles from all directions, a minimal sometimes seemingly non-existent bank account, two full time jobs, an endless number of appointments and meetings, my mother lives with us (we'll refer to it as a full-time, temp position) and a yellow lab; all in a two bedroom duplex and a stamina that is run entirely on caffeine, I should take stock in Starbucks and GMC [note to self for later]. Anywho, this is my life and it's a fantastic one. We constantly remind ourselves how lucky we are and that at 26 and 28 years of age we aren't supposed to have it easy. If we really want to get somewhere in life we have to trek through the rough stuff up a mountain to get to see and, more importantly appreciate, the view from the top. In a very quick nutshell, that's me, Kiki.

But back to the issue at hand, good parents or... bad? It's a daunting topic, no decent human being wants to be a bad parent but it's completely illogical to think at times that you are doing all the "right stuff" (yes, feel free to entertain NKOTB for a moment) back to the matter- parenting in 2012 is not what it was in 2002, 1992, 1985, or 1960 with one exception, parenting is not for the weak and any single person blessed enough to become a parent at arguably, any child bearing age, has the capacity to become a phenomenal parent as long as they are dedicated to loving unconditionally. It's not hard to do this when you have kids and actually most will confirm that it's pretty easy to do the loving part- it's a natural gift the hard part is remembering. While you always know and remember that you love your child it's a challenge at times to keep that in the forefront of your mind when your two year old uses every trick in the book to challenge bed time and ultimately throws a tantrum that makes even you, for a split millisec wonder if that child you hear screeching is being beat all the while you are in a whole other room in a separate part of your home not near the child whatsoever, knowing the last time you saw your precious dear she was lying in her bed saying "Aaamen-love you mommy good night." Hugs. Kisses. "okay, stay in bed" :::door closes:: parent exits. (for anyone wondering there is no issue here, none, no yelling, a seemingly successful bedtime routine, then all of a sudden the door shuts and something possesses your child to scream a scream so utterly alarming that if you didn't know better yourself you might think "well what the hell did that parent just do?? Should I make a 'call'? Are they okay???" immediately following the thought with "oh shit, that's my child, I am the parent! The neighbors are going to think I did something!" Not helping matters is the thumping of her feet as she is jumping and throwing her body to the ground because that is waaay better than the bed as she fights with all their might this idea of going to bed. I rush in-calmly [intended oxymoron]trying to settle the situation loud enough so that maybe the neighbors can hear the muzzling of calm cool connectedness from an adult (think the teachers in charlie brown) while crossing my fingers that they have been through this too and know exactly. what is going on. I keep my cool for the first hour but as we near hour three I pull out every trick I know until finally, I allow my thoughts reference an inappropriate adult sleep book (not to be mentioned here) and then walk in sternly and state We're done. No more ___, ___, and/or ___. (feel free to be creative) go.to.bed. now. "just, one more hug, NO! GO TO SLEEP! If you get up one more time you're ...grounded!!! (uhh, she's 2??!!) I walk out going WTF, really? You couldn't come up with anything better than that??? What are you going to do take away her sippy cup??? Ri.diculous. In this moment, no I do not *feel* like a good parent I feel like crap. Mind you, and I'd like to make it clear there is absolutely no physical, verbal, or emotional reaction or action from parent to child, none. I have done nothing wrong but stood my ground and keeping in mind this episode plays out 5/7 nights a week having not mentioned at all the screaming infant who refuses to be put down or to sleep by anyone but mommy and that I average a shower every 2-3 days, and that odds are this episode will be repeated tomorrow I think the fact I/we still have any sanity left to have this conversation tells me yes, yes we are good parents. Damn fine ones if you ask me.